I have always wanted to travel. My whole life I have envisioned going to faraway lands and having adventures. Some of these daydreams are Indiana Jonesesque. Some are simple like standing in the Louvre and turning to my traveling companion, when we see something spectacular and saying something original like, "will you look at that." or "When was circumsision invented?" Or perhaps "Nice of Samonthrice looks suprisingly good for being armless, and….headless."
I finally got a taste of the travelling I have so wanted to do my whole life and the first place I go, is….. you guessed it, Vegas, Baby. I don't think you can mention Vegas without adding the, aforementioned Baby.
I will begin when I first set eyes on her, it was about 30,000 feet up I am guessing, I could be off a little there. It was nighttime and I was looking out my plane window at blackness and then suddenly it was a sea of gold. So many light’s. Enough to light up several third world countires. Beautiful but also so wasteful at the same time. Then I caught the strip, it reminded me of the hotels on a monopoly board. Towering over everything else and looking very unrealistic. I was getting really excited by the time we touched down, to see something I had heard about for so long. We touched down and found our way to the hotel. We got a bargain basement deal on our tickets and hotel and we were staying at the Harrah’s, which has this sort of Mardi Gras theme. We get to our hotel and go up to our room and my friend and traveling companion Val was upset that the accommodations weren't exactly what she was hoping for. It wasn't bad just not the classiest place. What I began to notice was that the hotel also had airport prices. You know how when you go to an airport they act like its perfectly acceptable to charge triple for something
We went shopping first thing on our trip, I noticed that next day how even the sidewalks sparkled. They must have installed glitter in there somehow. The very first place we entered was Sephora. I could have fainted. It was like coming home to the mother ship. So much to choose from, total sensory overload. So many brands, Too Faced, Smashbox, Lancome, Korres, Bare Essentials, the list goes on and on. I was watching my pennies but I really wanted an azure sparkling eye liner from Urban Decay, for when I went to see the notorious, "Thunder Down Under."
Speaking of which that was on our priority list. We got all gussied up, wearing black and I had this top that was totally showing bra, slit down to my navel almost with rhinestones in the center of the blouse. Wafting perfume as we hustled to the L-train that goes behind the hotels. We ran part of the way in cute shoes, which really means torture devices that looked good but dug into our feet. We got there just in time, and the show began.
Out from behind a maroon velvet curtain stepped our host, he was a wizened ex stripper, or well maybe not ex, but he had been there for a while and the term, "rode hard and put away wet" came to mind. I began to wonder, "How do we know if these guys are really Aussies?" Maybe the host was but the rest of them never spoke. I contemplated this alot througout the night. I have been to other strip shows in the past, and I think that when you tip the strippers this is a good thing. They will do alot for a dollar. These guys got their cut before you even sat down. So they didn't have to work the crowd as much. Needless to say it wasn't that intresting of an experience. The only thing that was eyebrow raising was when the host had an older woman up on stage and had her grab his junk. Val thought he should have been prosecuted.
I was on a tight budget but I did buy some beautiful flowers, full blown roses in peach, lavender and pale pink, for my Etsy shop while I was there, a peacock butterfly and some shell garland that I plan to use. The shell garland I used part of just the other night to make a seashell crown.
Did we play the slots? Not much. A couple of bucks, here and there. Roulette? Nope. Twenty-One? Not likley. We did Bingo. Alot. Two nights. I won once, a small jackpot of about forty bucks but that was enough for Val to get the bug and think that we were just one ball away from a fortune of about 50,000. Well to both of us that would be a small fortune. Neither of us got even close.
We also went to the Price is Right. We watched it every morning the real one with Drew Carey. I don't normally watch the Price is Right but somehow Val always ended up with the remote, even if I was awake first. I know, highly suspicious. She obviously has some kind of super powers.
So we went to the knock off show of The Price is Right, which is hosted by two has been t.v. hosts who told bad jokes and patted each other on the back all afternoon. Val kept muttering that if she could just get into the "Showcase Showdown." For you non Price is Right Fans that means the last game of the night, where they give the biggest prizes.
Sure enough she did. She was told to "Come on Down" and she ran up screaming, and I clapped and whoo-hoooed for her. Her showcase freatured a dinner for four at a steakhouse in Vegas, a trip to Orlando for four four four days, hotel and air paid for. A little Karoke machine and a 42" flat screen T.V. also a Toyota, something. I can't remember what kind. Although I kelly blue booked it later. What do you think a package like that cost? Val guessed 24,000. The woman she was competeing against guessed 19,000. They told them that it was something like 13,995.00, can you believe that? Obviously they were hosed. The car blue booked at almost 13,000 all on its own. I checked on my phone (Gotta love BlackBerry) on the way out of the auditorium. Val was shell shocked. She acted like she was an actess on Oscar night. Who had her speech all ready, thought it was hers for sure, and was leaping up to accept the award when she was caught like a deer in headlights by the camera clue as it begins to sink in that hers was not the name on the sealed envelope. So for the rest of the night she keeps saying "It was an honor just to be nominated." Val kept saying how it was enough that she just got to play. As the shock wore off she began to re-think this position. It turned from acceptence, to irritated to all out, "I want to kill them, their children and their children's children" in the course of about twenty minutes.
We did eat dinner that night at "The Paris" which has its own mini Eiffell Tower and when you are in the casino going to look at the shops the ceilings are frescoed with cloud cover and the shops on the outside look like little French shops. My favorite was when I had to go to the bathroom and as you are sitting there on the toilet you are receiving a free French lessons over the speakers, telling you how to say things like, "Will you go to bed with me tonight?" or "My wife is out of town" or "Do you prefer doggy style?" Okay that last one might not have been in there but you get the jist.
I also got to eat from their French buffet that night, and got to try a stuffed grape leaf for the first time, which I found to be a bit salty. But I also had some pattiseries that were divine, some kind of a lemon pastry confection with powedered sugar that was light as air but much more tasty. The seafood was wonderful as well as the pasta and steak. So much cheese. You can never go wrong with cheese.
All in all it was an experience, I did realize that you should always wear comfortable shoes, bring bottled water, cold bottled water, and don't bet your money on Bingo she's a cruel mistress.
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